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Category: control

The Bog of Despond, Part 1 of 6 – Middle Recovery

The Bog of Despond, Part 1 of 6 – Middle Recovery

Discovery, disclosure, and polygraph are all terribly painful. However during that season, there can be hope for a better future. Also, we have a team of professionals on board to help us get to the other side. Often we’ve even been promised that if we make it through to the other side of disclosure, we’ll have a marriage far better than what we thought we had before Dday. Usually partners decide the new-and-improved relationship is worth the pain that accompanies…

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Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 7 of 9

Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 7 of 9

Our nice guy husbands don’t seem like narcissists. They’re charming rule-followers, often Christians. So I understand if you have trouble considering that your good guy might be struggling with a personality disorder or a smattering of traits from a few. When I hear the word “narcissist” I think “hollow core.” This word is ubiquitous and means different things to different people. This doesn’t diminish the fact that addicts have narcissistic traits which cause harm to relationships and partners. Narcs have…

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Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 5 of 9

Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 5 of 9

A lot of girls are attracted to the bad boy type. I’ve always liked the nerd or nice guy in the crowd. I grew up around plenty of real life bad boys, and that was no life at all, in my book. I’ve watched countless women be abandoned by dead beat dads. So I went hard in the opposite direction. The opposite of the bad boy would be a grounded, authentic man, not a nice guy. Now we all know…

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Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 4 of 9

Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 4 of 9

Part of what is so maddening about being in recovery with a nice guy is that you’re confronted with what looks like very kind and mature behavior alongside things like deception, betrayal, and even harmful behavior. Here is one duped wife’s account. Many unhealthy folks engaging in the latter kinds of things you can see coming from a mile away. Their lives are littered with broken relationships, immaturity, and aimlessness. Society hasn’t caught up to the notion that one can…

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Addiction 101, Part 11: Control and OCD

Addiction 101, Part 11: Control and OCD

After reading the title of this post, you probably wanted to skip over it – BORING snoozer. Well this topic is anything BUT boring. Hang onto your hats, Sisters. Do you like mystery, thriller stories? One of the most popular genres of horror films is the who-dunnit shock thriller where, at the very end of the movie, you find out the bad guy was the person you least expected!! We find this entertaining because it’s so hard to believe. These…

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