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The Bog of Despond, Part 2 of 6 – Paradigm Shifts

The Bog of Despond, Part 2 of 6 – Paradigm Shifts

In the 90’s I fell in love with a quirky movie called “Clifford” about a charming boy who leaves a wake of destruction en route to his place of bliss – an amusement park called Dinosaur World. He’s under the care of his uncle, whom Clifford has driven to temporary madness. My favorite part of the movie is when his uncle, after a series of disastrous losses that Clifford unleashes upon him, tries to have an instructive, corrective conversation with…

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Hello Again & Shock

Hello Again & Shock

Hi Friends, I can’t believe I haven’t written since January! I think about you, our journeys, and the truths we share here often. I had a very busy Spring with work. Over the summer I got to teach some material that I love – not recovery/infidelity related. I enjoyed it tremendously. Fall is always busy for our family. Lots of hustle and bustle around here. But I’m glad to be back, and I want to tell you I have a…

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Nice Guy or Something Else? Summary

Nice Guy or Something Else? Summary

Part 1 – Videos on Nice Guys and Pseudo Alpha Males Part 2 – Personality Structure Part 3 – Personality Disorders Part 4 – The Spectrum of an Abuser Part 5 – His Double Life, Her Cognitive Dissonance Part 6 – More on My Story’s Tipping Point Part 7 – Tips for Her Part 8 – Tips for Him While I was writing this series I saw these socks for sale (post photo)! We know better, ladies. Being a so-called…

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Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 5 of 9

Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 5 of 9

A lot of girls are attracted to the bad boy type. I’ve always liked the nerd or nice guy in the crowd. I grew up around plenty of real life bad boys, and that was no life at all, in my book. I’ve watched countless women be abandoned by dead beat dads. So I went hard in the opposite direction. The opposite of the bad boy would be a grounded, authentic man, not a nice guy. Now we all know…

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Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 3 of 9

Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 3 of 9

Nice guys actually are nice in many ways – I know this is hard to understand when we are experiencing trauma due to their betrayal. Nice guys who have given themselves to addiction and cheating behaviors are experiencing a deeper level of dysfunction that requires more treatment and attention. In my opinion, once a person has given themselves over to betraying behaviors, serious treatment is needed because they’re very unhealthy. In the previous post, Saad said that sex addiction is…

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Addiction 101: RECAP!!!! (and some gold nuggets)

Addiction 101: RECAP!!!! (and some gold nuggets)

Friends, this series is now complete!! It would mean the world to me if you share it with recovery friends and those in ministry who want to learn more about sex addiction. I can’t believe it took me 12 months to get it “on paper” (that’s embarrassing)… Here is the complete series: Maturity Why Sex Addiction is Different What How Who, Why, and When Simply Sober Fantasy Parts and Dissociation Narcissism and Predators IA and RCs Control and OCD Deception…

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Addiction 101, Part 13: Shame

Addiction 101, Part 13: Shame

Shame is a force that is affecting your recovery and relationship, whether you’re conscious of it or not. Of all the topics covered in this series, getting a handle on shame will probably give you the most immediate relief. It took us a while to see shame for what it is. While this post won’t be exhaustive, it will lay out what we learned to make progress in putting shame in its place. The NUMBER ONE rule about shame is:…

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