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Tag: mental health

Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 4 of 9

Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 4 of 9

Part of what is so maddening about being in recovery with a nice guy is that you’re confronted with what looks like very kind and mature behavior alongside things like deception, betrayal, and even harmful behavior. Here is one duped wife’s account. Many unhealthy folks engaging in the latter kinds of things you can see coming from a mile away. Their lives are littered with broken relationships, immaturity, and aimlessness. Society hasn’t caught up to the notion that one can…

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Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 3 of 9

Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 3 of 9

Nice guys actually are nice in many ways – I know this is hard to understand when we are experiencing trauma due to their betrayal. Nice guys who have given themselves to addiction and cheating behaviors are experiencing a deeper level of dysfunction that requires more treatment and attention. In my opinion, once a person has given themselves over to betraying behaviors, serious treatment is needed because they’re very unhealthy. In the previous post, Saad said that sex addiction is…

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A Scary Movie and Other Spooky Stuff

A Scary Movie and Other Spooky Stuff

Today is Halloween. Going through betrayal changes your emotional DNA. What other people call “scary” is child’s play for a betrayed wife. Conversely, simple things like a day at the beach or a commercial can scare the wits out of us – amiright? However, some things that most people find frightening and bizarre, we might understand. Hitchcock’s classic thriller would be the perfect example. Studied for decades, this horror flick is more than a cinematic masterpiece. Hitchcock is actually spot…

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How Betrayal Creates a Trauma Loop

How Betrayal Creates a Trauma Loop

Nothing can compare with those early days of being stuck in a Dday nightmare: you can’t sleep, you cry all day, everything you have cherished and worked for is forever changed. You’re wrecked, and this is not hyperbole. Then with some work, life finds a certain rhythm again. Nothing like your former life, but more stable than in early recovery. If your recovering marriage is anything like mine at the 3+ year mark, it’s stable but kind of lonely. He’s…

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Addiction 101, Part 11: Control and OCD

Addiction 101, Part 11: Control and OCD

After reading the title of this post, you probably wanted to skip over it – BORING snoozer. Well this topic is anything BUT boring. Hang onto your hats, Sisters. Do you like mystery, thriller stories? One of the most popular genres of horror films is the who-dunnit shock thriller where, at the very end of the movie, you find out the bad guy was the person you least expected!! We find this entertaining because it’s so hard to believe. These…

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Addiction 101, Part 6: Simply Sober

Addiction 101, Part 6: Simply Sober

Did you have a good marriage before Dday? I loved my marriage! Not every season was wonderful, but I can’t remember one day not being madly in love with my husband. (What three years of recovery work has taught me is this probably has more to do with my own disposition than my actual marriage, but I digress.) I spent several months of early recovery “just wanting to go back to how things were.” We all learn too soon that…

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The Peculiarities of My Story

The Peculiarities of My Story

One of the main reasons I wanted to start a blog is because there are some unique facets to my betrayal story that I don’t hear much about. I wanted to provide a connection point for others dealing with some of the same details as me to let you know that you aren’t alone. Don’t get me wrong, the “sameness” of our stories makes us feel sane and gives us hope to journey on. When I hear a betrayed wife’s…

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