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Category: grief

The Bog of Despond, Part 1 of 6 – Middle Recovery

The Bog of Despond, Part 1 of 6 – Middle Recovery

Discovery, disclosure, and polygraph are all terribly painful. However during that season, there can be hope for a better future. Also, we have a team of professionals on board to help us get to the other side. Often we’ve even been promised that if we make it through to the other side of disclosure, we’ll have a marriage far better than what we thought we had before Dday. Usually partners decide the new-and-improved relationship is worth the pain that accompanies…

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Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 6 of 9

Nice Guy or Something Else? Part 6 of 9

As I share about this season in our story, I feel the tone getting darker. I do believe there is hope, but recovery journeys can get worse before they get better. Ours did! And I think it needed to be that way to uncover real roots of the addiction. I don’t think many partners are prepared for that to happen, and it does quite a bit. If you need hope around this issue, hang with me. I promise in a…

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People Who Cry in Grocery Stores…

People Who Cry in Grocery Stores…

Would you judge a middle-aged woman crying in the grocery store? Honestly I would. I would think she needed medication perhaps or she needed to go home and rest at a minimum. I cried in the grocery store. In the card isle, to be exact. Recently I decided to pick up a birthday card for my husband while at the store. Reading through all the cards made me feel sick and dissociated. I had to see too many “Happy Birthday…

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Trauma vs. Suffering, part 3 of 4

Trauma vs. Suffering, part 3 of 4

In part 2, we looked at how trauma reduces our capacity. With that in mind, I want to share the six things I think are most important to healing betrayal trauma over time. This process will take years. However these trauma-healing practices are gold! God will use these things for your good for decades to come. They’re tools of healing you can pass onto to others, too! Your healing is your daily priority, not your husband’s sobriety and not the…

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