As I wake up in the early morning darkness and lay quietly in the warmth of my bed, I notice the quiet all around me, the stillness of just me, alone, in a peaceful place. I’ve moved into a small apartment on our property. It has been very healing to be there alone and think, pray, and just be still with God. I have done quite a bit of healing through an ETT intensive (3-day session), and I no longer…
Hi Friends, Well it’s been several weeks back when I started a series on addiction. I fully intended to share several posts in this series in rapid succession – I was excited about it, too! So what happened? An adult child needed extra support. Work picked up. The holidays came. We took a very long road trip. It’s February. I’m only now beginning to breathe again after all the busyness. I had to take a break from the blog –…
Before betrayal, I had never heard of the term “self-care”. When I was asked about what I did for “self-care”, I didn’t have a clue. I was a momma, a wife, a daughter, a friend…my days were spent serving others (with love). My therapist and my coach said I needed to spend some time doing “self-care” just for me. So, for the first time in my life, I began to get my nails done, every month, along with a pedicure;…
If you know Ashlyn and Coby from the podcast, The Betrayed, the Addicted, and the Expert, you’ve perhaps heard them say, “We are in recovery, just like you, only two steps ahead.” S. Heart and I are definitely IN the boat. I am excited to go through this series about addiction with you. I’ve been a psychology geek for a long time, and in recovery, I’ve consumed tons of materials and had the opportunity to receive care from some of…
Today I am starting a long series on the basics of addiction. The series will contain about 20 posts. I hope you’ll go on this learning journey with me because I am certain it’s imperative the partner of an addict must be able to identify addiction in its tracks for her own health and safety. Addiction education helps the addict even more! This topic must begin and end with the issue of maturity. When we are talking about maturity, we…
In the aftermath of sexual betrayal, it’s hard to understand or verbalize exactly what all this means. But you know your life will never be the same. You even wonder if life can be good…. This post is about coming to terms with what’s required to heal your marriage; which, is worth noting, is different than healing as an individual. As I’ve tried so desperately to make sense out of the insanity that IS sexual addiction, a great aid was…
A lot of my struggle with coming to terms with my marriage after Dday is that I know what kind of relationship we had for almost 21 years before discovery. We did have a strange season in the early years of our marriage that didn’t include sexual acting out, but it did require quite a bit of counseling and healing. We put the work in and had a very good relationship for years. Many friends told me they envied the…
Hearing Dr. Jake Porter explain how infidelity causes the filing system of a partner’s brain to “explode” resonates, doesn’t it? Here we are, ladies, with all our files, memories, and self-concepts dumped all over the place. We don’t know where to begin putting ourselves back together, but we want so desperately to function again. The thought of living under these new circumstances is daunting! In this day in time, most marriages fail. I’d say usually both parties are happy about…
My last post needs one clarification for betrayed partners. It was about how addicts are accustomed to playing the victim role and staying stuck there, which feeds the addiction cycle. But what about the fact that betrayed wives ARE in fact victims? Is it bad for us to be the victim? I’m glad you asked. 🙂 If being dropped into the world of infidelity and betrayal has taught you anything, it’s taught you that our society is upside-down about many…
You’ll notice I like to share a lot of podcasts! Do you like listening to podcasts? While sex addiction treatment is a still-relatively-new thing, the few working in this field do a great job of disseminating information via books, conferences, and podcasts. Thank GOD! Here are the podcasts I like: The Betrayed, the Addicted and the Expert Sex Help with Carol the Coach APSATS Radio Restored 2 More Helping Couples Heal Find the links and a longer list here. What…