I get it – the fear is REAL. We are dealing with serious consequences, devastating pain to the people we love the most, shame, public humiliation, being faced with possible divorce, job loss and more. Given the fact that our brains are in trauma-mode, how can we calm?

I’ll never forget my first coach’s words: “Don’t let your circumstances make you doubt God’s nature.” God didn’t betray me, my husband did.

2 Timothy 4:17&18 “But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me… So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. 18 The Lord will rescue me from  every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him  be the glory forever and ever. Amen.”

Her advice, along with the technique I am about to share, have been effective to help calm my nervous system when I become seized by fear.

Life Model Works has wonderful teachings on joy and rest. The following exercise is based on their teachings on calming.

1. When you are afraid, get alone with Jesus.
2. Know he is happy to be with you. He hides you under his wing. Feel his delight.
3. Allow yourself to think about the troubling circumstances worrying you. Sit in it, don’t run. (It will feel worse before it starts to feel better)
4. You may choose to talk to Jesus about it or simply breathe and still your body in the midst of the anxious feelings.
5. Ask him to speak to you about the situation. Yes the facts you’re facing are true, but there’s more to the story. He sees more than you – he has a higher perspective. He will begin to reveal new facets of the situation to your mind.
6. You will have thankfulness that he’s with you and that he’s giving you a different perspective.
7. You will feel calmer. It’s his presence that stilled the waves and made all the difference.

The first time I used this exercise, I was very worried about money. I was three months into a new career after being a homeschooling mom for 20 years when I learned of my husband’s betrayal. My career started tanking as my life as I knew it unraveled. With two kids in college and lots of therapy expenses piling up, the fear was getting the best of me. After sitting in it with Jesus, I was able to accept a new perspective: “Yes, we might struggle financially due to my husband’s sin. Maybe God is allowing financial pressures/loss as a part of the discipline process for my husband. I shouldn’t get in the way of that. But if God is with me during this season of financial strain, I CAN be at peace and survive it. His presence makes all the difference. Many things about our life now are different than before D-day, and money is no exception.”

I had to use this technique today. I had to “sit in” the fact that this is my story. I invested a lot to avoid my family experiencing pain like this. Jesus was with me today, and he will be in the future no matter what my future holds. He told me I can’t control the narrative, but he can make something beautiful out of the ashes if I give him control.

How has Jesus changed your perspective and calmed your heart?

PS – I want to let you know I prayed about our finances two years ago. Jesus has totally carried us financially in some miraculous ways. I wish I could sit down to coffee with you and tell you the stories!