I’m reading a few books, one of which is a book of 52 devotions written by Margaret Feinberg. The title is More Power to You — Declarations to Break Free From Fear & Take Back Your Life.

She starts the book with a 90-second daily challenge wherein you read the daily declarations out loud. All of her declarations are based on who God says I am. And I believe every one of them with all my heart. I know these declarations are true. But my thoughts and feelings in my body and my mind do not line up with that truth.

Betrayal trauma changes the brain of the betrayed. I don’t quite understand it, but even knowing truth doesn’t mean your mind allows you to live it. I’m learning why God says to “take every thought captive”. The thoughts I think, the thoughts I remember, are not good thoughts. They are damaging thoughts. Beliefs about myself as a wife, as a woman…beliefs that are not true, but beliefs the enemy uses to keep me stuck. Beliefs about what I heard during the full therapeutic disclosure (2 years ago). There are some things that are hard to wrap your normal brain around. And there are some things that a traumatized brain doesn’t let go of very easily. So I’ve been searching for uplifting books to read to soothe my tattered and ragged soul. I stumbled across this one, and the minute I picked it up, I knew it could be a game changer.

“Jesus is King of my life. I am who Christ says I am. I take every thought captive…” these are the beginning declarations that I am reading daily for the next 52 days (I’m on Day 4). There are 18 declarations in total. So far, each devotional coincides with one declaration. Once I finish this devotional, I will come back here and let you know how my thoughts and beliefs have changed by reading these declarations over my life.

One thing I do know, He makes ALL things new. I won’t stay stuck forever. I pray for all of you. I pray that God will take this messiness, the circumstances of our lives that the Enemy meant to destroy us, and turn it into a stepping stone to show His glory in all of our lives.

If you are like me, you want it done already. But I am learning, God’s timing hardly ever coincides with mine.

So, Poppa God, I will be still and wait for you.

S. Heart