Resource Spotlight
Below are two great videos from Eddie Capparucci!
Addiction 101, Part 6: Simply Sober
Did you have a good marriage before Dday? I loved my marriage! Not every season was wonderful, but I can’t remember one day not being madly in love with my husband. (What three years of recovery work has taught me is this probably has more to do with my own disposition than my actual marriage, but I digress.) I spent several months of early recovery “just wanting to go back to how things were.” We all learn too soon that…
Addiction 101, Part 5: Who, Why, and When
The highest compliment a betrayed partner can give to a professional in the sexual addiction or marriage counseling field is “they’re safe.” We’ve been blessed to work with some very safe (and smart) care takers. One thing that made our marriage therapist safe for me was that he let me ask all the questions I wanted – and no question was off limits. I wonder if you have asked yourself this question: Are all men doing this? “This” means cheating…
Addiction 101, Part 4: How
As a single guy, my husband had a serious porn addiction (although we didn’t know to call it that in the 1990s). He had some sobriety under his belt when we started dating. He confessed his issues up front and we got counsel from wise people at our church who were confident in us moving toward marriage. Despite some mental health struggles in the early years of marriage, Phil didn’t “act out” with self-stimulation or porn. We were very careful…
Addiction 101, Part 3: What
I was a psychology geek before I became a betrayed wife. When I was 7 years old, I was mesmerized when I saw John Bradshaw interviewed by Oprah. It made an impact. I love people. I love learning about how we think, function and behave. If I knew you, I’d love to sit at a coffee shop and hear your story. With betrayal trauma brain, I can’t apply past knowledge to MY situation very well, but somehow I can take…
The Stillness
As I wake up in the early morning darkness and lay quietly in the warmth of my bed, I notice the quiet all around me, the stillness of just me, alone, in a peaceful place. I’ve moved into a small apartment on our property. It has been very healing to be there alone and think, pray, and just be still with God. I have done quite a bit of healing through an ETT intensive (3-day session), and I no longer…
When All Tenderness Is Gone
incomprehensible layers of isolation now you’re the man with a heart of stone making me pay here by being alone seemingly justified righteous indignation now I’m the woman who holds all her pain looking for somebody else to blame
The Turtle Tribe
Hi Friends, Well it’s been several weeks back when I started a series on addiction. I fully intended to share several posts in this series in rapid succession – I was excited about it, too! So what happened? An adult child needed extra support. Work picked up. The holidays came. We took a very long road trip. It’s February. I’m only now beginning to breathe again after all the busyness. I had to take a break from the blog –…
Self-Care
Before betrayal, I had never heard of the term “self-care”. When I was asked about what I did for “self-care”, I didn’t have a clue. I was a momma, a wife, a daughter, a friend…my days were spent serving others (with love). My therapist and my coach said I needed to spend some time doing “self-care” just for me. So, for the first time in my life, I began to get my nails done, every month, along with a pedicure;…
Addiction 101, Part 2: Why Sex Addiction is Different
If you know Ashlyn and Coby from the podcast, The Betrayed, the Addicted, and the Expert, you’ve perhaps heard them say, “We are in recovery, just like you, only two steps ahead.” S. Heart and I are definitely IN the boat. I am excited to go through this series about addiction with you. I’ve been a psychology geek for a long time, and in recovery, I’ve consumed tons of materials and had the opportunity to receive care from some of…