Hi Friends, I can’t believe I haven’t written since January! I think about you, our journeys, and the truths we share here often. I had a very busy Spring with work. Over the summer I got to teach some material that I love – not recovery/infidelity related. I enjoyed it tremendously. Fall is always busy for our family. Lots of hustle and bustle around here. But I’m glad to be back, and I want to tell you I have a…
Nothing can compare with those early days of being stuck in a Dday nightmare: you can’t sleep, you cry all day, everything you have cherished and worked for is forever changed. You’re wrecked, and this is not hyperbole. Then with some work, life finds a certain rhythm again. Nothing like your former life, but more stable than in early recovery. If your recovering marriage is anything like mine at the 3+ year mark, it’s stable but kind of lonely. He’s…
In part 1 we looked at how trauma and suffering are different. Chances are, you had survived many hardships before learning of your partner’s betrayal. But this feels different. You can’t snap back, you can’t face the people in your life like before, you feel as if you’ve lost yourself – past, present, and future. If you’re experiencing trauma due your partner’s infidelity, healing will look different than the hardships you’ve suffered in your life up to now. Trauma reduces…
After learning of your partner’s sex/p*rn addiction and/or infidelity, have you been experiencing some of these common symptoms of trauma: Sleep disturbance Nightmares Hypervigilance Loss of energy Loss of interest in things you previously enjoyed Crying Social Isolation Triggers Brain Fog Loss/Increase of appetite All-or-nothing, black-and-white, thinking on the extremes Sadly, betrayal trauma affects most partners. It’s important to know that being in a trauma state is different than mere suffering. Knowing the difference and applying the best healing measures…