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We are starting a new series on the blog TOMORROW and I don’t want you to miss a bit. You can subscribe so new posts show up in your email 🙂
Resource Spotlight: Stuck?
Wow! This podcast episode by Helping Couples Heal is on point regarding feeling stuck! Marnie and Duane hit the nail on the head.
I Speak Jesus
A Scary Movie and Other Spooky Stuff
Today is Halloween. Going through betrayal changes your emotional DNA. What other people call “scary” is child’s play for a betrayed wife. Conversely, simple things like a day at the beach or a commercial can scare the wits out of us – amiright? However, some things that most people find frightening and bizarre, we might understand. Hitchcock’s classic thriller would be the perfect example. Studied for decades, this horror flick is more than a cinematic masterpiece. Hitchcock is actually spot…
I Can’t Make You Love Me
Girl, I see you showing up in case your marriage can be saved. You’re awesome.
Resource Spotlight: Sharon Rinearson and More!
Great interview here with Sharon. So many takeaways! Dr. Barbara and Dr Sherri Keffer on Is Porn Cheating? “Christlike or Pornlike?” – this article is FIRE!
Addiction 101: RECAP!!!! (and some gold nuggets)
Friends, this series is now complete!! It would mean the world to me if you share it with recovery friends and those in ministry who want to learn more about sex addiction. I can’t believe it took me 12 months to get it “on paper” (that’s embarrassing)… Here is the complete series: Maturity Why Sex Addiction is Different What How Who, Why, and When Simply Sober Fantasy Parts and Dissociation Narcissism and Predators IA and RCs Control and OCD Deception…
Addiction 101, Part 14: The Key
In the previous post we covered how the painful feeling of shame makes us hide from relationship, which makes us run to addiction to numb, which makes us ashamed after we act out. Shame fuels addiction and addiction fuels shame. Is there a key to unlock this pesky cycle? Actually, yes! But it requires a broader understanding of what addiction is. Some call it a boundary disorder. Some call it an intimacy disorder. Yes, both true. But I like how…
Addiction 101, Part 13: Shame
Shame is a force that is affecting your recovery and relationship, whether you’re conscious of it or not. Of all the topics covered in this series, getting a handle on shame will probably give you the most immediate relief. It took us a while to see shame for what it is. While this post won’t be exhaustive, it will lay out what we learned to make progress in putting shame in its place. The NUMBER ONE rule about shame is:…
How Betrayal Creates a Trauma Loop
Nothing can compare with those early days of being stuck in a Dday nightmare: you can’t sleep, you cry all day, everything you have cherished and worked for is forever changed. You’re wrecked, and this is not hyperbole. Then with some work, life finds a certain rhythm again. Nothing like your former life, but more stable than in early recovery. If your recovering marriage is anything like mine at the 3+ year mark, it’s stable but kind of lonely. He’s…