After discovering your partner has been sexually unfaithful and lying to you for years, you feel like you’ve fallen into a rabbit hole where nothing is as it once seemed, like Alice in Wonderland. There was a day when you both stood in front of all the important people in your life and pledged to forsake all others and be committed to each other until you die. You kept that pledge. You had no reason to believe your partner wasn’t….
I’m reading a few books, one of which is a book of 52 devotions written by Margaret Feinberg. The title is More Power to You — Declarations to Break Free From Fear & Take Back Your Life. She starts the book with a 90-second daily challenge wherein you read the daily declarations out loud. All of her declarations are based on who God says I am. And I believe every one of them with all my heart. I know these…
“It’s been a hard year but I’m climbing out of the rubble. These lessons are hard, healing changes are subtle.”
In this series we’ve covered how trauma is more than suffering. Trauma acts like a sledgehammer on a person’s brain. Traumatized brains don’t function in an integrated manner, making it nearly impossible to process our new reality and heal. Your very survival and self-concept have suffered a mortal blow. We have a severely-decreased capacity to handle life… We must take the healing process seriously. Your brain, body, and heart must feel SAFE to heal. No matter what happens, you CAN…
In part 2, we looked at how trauma reduces our capacity. With that in mind, I want to share the six things I think are most important to healing betrayal trauma over time. This process will take years. However these trauma-healing practices are gold! God will use these things for your good for decades to come. They’re tools of healing you can pass onto to others, too! Your healing is your daily priority, not your husband’s sobriety and not the…
In part 1 we looked at how trauma and suffering are different. Chances are, you had survived many hardships before learning of your partner’s betrayal. But this feels different. You can’t snap back, you can’t face the people in your life like before, you feel as if you’ve lost yourself – past, present, and future. If you’re experiencing trauma due your partner’s infidelity, healing will look different than the hardships you’ve suffered in your life up to now. Trauma reduces…
After learning of your partner’s sex/p*rn addiction and/or infidelity, have you been experiencing some of these common symptoms of trauma: Sleep disturbance Nightmares Hypervigilance Loss of energy Loss of interest in things you previously enjoyed Crying Social Isolation Triggers Brain Fog Loss/Increase of appetite All-or-nothing, black-and-white, thinking on the extremes Sadly, betrayal trauma affects most partners. It’s important to know that being in a trauma state is different than mere suffering. Knowing the difference and applying the best healing measures…