S Heart and I look forward to featuring stories from other partners. Time spent with those who get it has made all the difference!

I am almost 6 months in since I first found out about G’s affair (affairs). The memories of how he treated me during that early window of time are what still haunt me the most. Yes, the affair still really stings, but it’s how cruel and mean he was to me in the entire process of the unraveling [that remains].

I have learned my own deep vulnerabilities in all of this and see how looking back he never loved me or was capable of any kind of love, especially a selfless marriage love. 

In a huge way I feel freed from daily pain-filled bondage of his abuse and neglect within the home for all our years before I knew about his affairs and ego centered selfish betrayals… I nor my son no longer have an unfulfilled expectation of a man who could not show or give us love in any way of depth or reality from even a secular perspective, much less a true selfless love like Christ demands- for the husband to love their wives as the church.

I have a long road to go but I know I will not continue to grieve the real man G was at all, only the hope and dream of what I desperately wanted him to become someday.

My situation continues to be beyond shocking and devastating to anyone and everyone who hears my story. Concerning the betrayal, I am most affected by him financially as he had me literally sign my life and rights away in papers our entire marriage to protect every dime he made in the course of our 15 year marriage. Every single one under a lie and false pretenses: “taxes,” family trust accounts, loan docs, prenup, on and on… never, ever telling me what everything really was. Now I’m in an awful situation on the verge of losing everything, except my faith in the God I love and my son who will always love me as I him no matter what man or courts try to do to us. As a Christian woman, I trusted him that he had my best interest in mind but he was only trying to protect himself. Literally his end goal is to leave me homeless and take my son. All for what? His sick ego-fragmented-reality based on greed, lust, and ego. 

No matter what people tell you, these courts do not protect the victims from these predators; and now at age 50 I have to figure out, with God’s leading, How will I start my life again?

With love from a deeply wounded heart,

Brunette K