I’m reading a few books, one of which is a book of 52 devotions written by Margaret Feinberg. The title is More Power to You — Declarations to Break Free From Fear & Take Back Your Life. She starts the book with a 90-second daily challenge wherein you read the daily declarations out loud. All of her declarations are based on who God says I am. And I believe every one of them with all my heart. I know these…
This Thanks For Sharing podcast on betrayal trauma is very good! While this podcast is largely about dating, Dr. Stan Tatkin verbalized what my heart has been trying to communicate for a while! I bet you’ll love it too! I’ll post dialogue below, but there’s some good truth here starting at about minute 26:30: Tatkin speaking to the faithful partner in couples who have lost trust due to betrayal when they ask “Are you committed to me? Can we even…
In this series we’ve covered how trauma is more than suffering. Trauma acts like a sledgehammer on a person’s brain. Traumatized brains don’t function in an integrated manner, making it nearly impossible to process our new reality and heal. Your very survival and self-concept have suffered a mortal blow. We have a severely-decreased capacity to handle life… We must take the healing process seriously. Your brain, body, and heart must feel SAFE to heal. No matter what happens, you CAN…
In part 2, we looked at how trauma reduces our capacity. With that in mind, I want to share the six things I think are most important to healing betrayal trauma over time. This process will take years. However these trauma-healing practices are gold! God will use these things for your good for decades to come. They’re tools of healing you can pass onto to others, too! Your healing is your daily priority, not your husband’s sobriety and not the…
Marriage. What is it? Is it all rainbows and unicorns? Should we never show who we really are, what we really feel? Is our spouse supposed to be the “best friend”, the one we share our hopes and dreams with, the one who sees us in all our glory AND in all our messiness? Did we spend decades with someone whom we thought was that person only to find out that they weren’t that person at all? And now, now…
In part 1 we looked at how trauma and suffering are different. Chances are, you had survived many hardships before learning of your partner’s betrayal. But this feels different. You can’t snap back, you can’t face the people in your life like before, you feel as if you’ve lost yourself – past, present, and future. If you’re experiencing trauma due your partner’s infidelity, healing will look different than the hardships you’ve suffered in your life up to now. Trauma reduces…
After learning of your partner’s sex/p*rn addiction and/or infidelity, have you been experiencing some of these common symptoms of trauma: Sleep disturbance Nightmares Hypervigilance Loss of energy Loss of interest in things you previously enjoyed Crying Social Isolation Triggers Brain Fog Loss/Increase of appetite All-or-nothing, black-and-white, thinking on the extremes Sadly, betrayal trauma affects most partners. It’s important to know that being in a trauma state is different than mere suffering. Knowing the difference and applying the best healing measures…
Infidelity and broken hearts are what brought you to this site. The pain you are feeling is overwhelming. We hope this site can provide you with the resources and insight you need as you navigate your own healing journey. We want this to be a safe and understanding place for you as a betrayed partner. We will share a lot of information, snippets of our own personal stories, and guest posts from others (including the betrayed and those that are…
Where are you right now? In this journey through betrayal, we are all at different places and in different stages. Don’t feel like you are way behind in your growth compared to others. Let’s face it, we all started at the bottom. And no matter how far along we’ve gotten, guess what? Some days, we are right back there: at the bottom. It’s been two years since I sat through around 4-6 hours of a Therapeutic Disclosure in my therapist’s…