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Addiction 101: RECAP!!!! (and some gold nuggets)

Addiction 101: RECAP!!!! (and some gold nuggets)

Friends, this series is now complete!! It would mean the world to me if you share it with recovery friends and those in ministry who want to learn more about sex addiction. I can’t believe it took me 12 months to get it “on paper” (that’s embarrassing)… Here is the complete series: Maturity Why Sex Addiction is Different What How Who, Why, and When Simply Sober Fantasy Parts and Dissociation Narcissism and Predators IA and RCs Control and OCD Deception…

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Addiction 101, Part 13: Shame

Addiction 101, Part 13: Shame

Shame is a force that is affecting your recovery and relationship, whether you’re conscious of it or not. Of all the topics covered in this series, getting a handle on shame will probably give you the most immediate relief. It took us a while to see shame for what it is. While this post won’t be exhaustive, it will lay out what we learned to make progress in putting shame in its place. The NUMBER ONE rule about shame is:…

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Addiction 101, Part 11: Control and OCD

Addiction 101, Part 11: Control and OCD

After reading the title of this post, you probably wanted to skip over it – BORING snoozer. Well this topic is anything BUT boring. Hang onto your hats, Sisters. Do you like mystery, thriller stories? One of the most popular genres of horror films is the who-dunnit shock thriller where, at the very end of the movie, you find out the bad guy was the person you least expected!! We find this entertaining because it’s so hard to believe. These…

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Addiction 101, Part 9: Narcissism and Predators

Addiction 101, Part 9: Narcissism and Predators

Especially in the early days of recovery, I consumed an unbelievable amount of resources! Books, podcasts, online conferences, etc. Even in that vast sea of information, sometimes, years later, a random quote from a random podcast can sound in my head and answer a hundred questions. I was listening to a podcast from a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. One survivor said “I think when a person has been perpetrated against, a touch of that perpetrator energy can be inside…

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Addiction 101, Part 8: Parts and Dissociation

Addiction 101, Part 8: Parts and Dissociation

In Megyn Kelly’s memoir, she tells a story from her teen years of complaining to her dad one night in December as he sat by the Christmas tree. Her parents couldn’t afford her class ring, and she was upset and stormed off to bed. That was the last time she saw her dad because he had a lethal heart attack that night. Megyn was behaving as a typical adolescent – obsessed with self and peers. Teenagers don’t understand making financial…

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Addiction 101, Part 6: Simply Sober

Addiction 101, Part 6: Simply Sober

Did you have a good marriage before Dday? I loved my marriage! Not every season was wonderful, but I can’t remember one day not being madly in love with my husband. (What three years of recovery work has taught me is this probably has more to do with my own disposition than my actual marriage, but I digress.) I spent several months of early recovery “just wanting to go back to how things were.” We all learn too soon that…

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Addiction 101, Part 4: How

Addiction 101, Part 4: How

As a single guy, my husband had a serious porn addiction (although we didn’t know to call it that in the 1990s). He had some sobriety under his belt when we started dating. He confessed his issues up front and we got counsel from wise people at our church who were confident in us moving toward marriage. Despite some mental health struggles in the early years of marriage, Phil didn’t “act out” with self-stimulation or porn. We were very careful…

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Addiction 101, Part 2: Why Sex Addiction is Different

Addiction 101, Part 2: Why Sex Addiction is Different

If you know Ashlyn and Coby from the podcast, The Betrayed, the Addicted, and the Expert, you’ve perhaps heard them say, “We are in recovery, just like you, only two steps ahead.” S. Heart and I are definitely IN the boat. I am excited to go through this series about addiction with you. I’ve been a psychology geek for a long time, and in recovery, I’ve consumed tons of materials and had the opportunity to receive care from some of…

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